You .. # 3

I went back to my Home..

In the road I called mellisa asking about Lama and my father ..

did they had lunch?

Because the eats together cus I told dad enny ra7 arid at 4 ..

so yet'3adoon bedouni ..

Since my Mothers death..

my father makes sure ena we still feeL like we are a family.

Not two small girls with a broken father!

I rememberd after one week from my mothers death

he took me alkhalejeya ..

and I played oo kept asking :

" wain mama oo il new baby? "

" laish ma wadeetne azoorhm ?? "

" laish adeg 3ala mama her mobile switched off ? "

" baba wain lama? "

He crapped me from me hand ..

and buy me an vanilla con ice cream ..

and set next to me eb the chairs jidam 6efeL il mostaqbaL!

I remember all the fucking details of that day ..

the day my world fell a parts in front of me ( 10 years kid ) ..

dad : " baba manoora .. " and he chooked with his words ..

" baba 7abebti .. ildenya hathe like a game ..

kil wa7ed fena eserlah eb pint a game over .. oo ye6la3 mn il le3ba .. "

I felt it .. I know he was about saying something badd ..

" manora 7abebti .. your mother .. your mother .. " and there's a tear running out .. oo misa7ha ebsiir3a ..

" matat? .. "

as simple as that ..

10 years old say it without any explain to the fact that she's gone!

He hugged me soooo tight ..

I can listen to the Sound of his tears ..

I felt so bad ..

I felt like thats my falt !

" baba .. Im sorry .. It's my falt .. I kept saying to mama oo you .. enna I wana sister . khalas .. I dont .. "

He hugged me closer to his heart .. which was beating tooo fast ..

" noooo sweety .. nooooo ..

this is life .. allah suba7an oo ta3ala yabi your mother eb mokan a7san ..

oo we will go to her laima enserr ekbar .. "

" you will go to her before me ?? cus enta older ? "

he smiled at me .. " I dont Know 7abebti .. allah yekhtar minu yestaheL erouu7 3enda oo yerta7 oo yestanes up there .. oo .. oo .. He chook again .. yakhtha .. "

I remember going back to schooL ..

and all the girls ( and teachers) !

stairing at me .

and waiting for me to breake down!

yeekh ..

I hate that position ..

The weakness position ..

I remember Lama's first birthday ..

my father brought a small cake ..

trying to us alive again!

I saw a cake with a candle of number One..

oh that bitch who tooked my mothers life !

I kicked the hell out of lama ..

and I rememberd my father yelling at me ..

" LAAAAAISH?? HEDEEEEEEHAAAAAAAA MNNNNNERA!! LAISH E6EQENHHHHHA .. IT'S YOUR CAKE .. BOTH OF YOU .."

" laaaaaaaaa? I dont wanna a party .. Im Not celebrating my mothers death! "

" MNERA!!!!!" .. my fathers eyes came out .. and his face became red and full of sadness ..

My mother was An Amirican women ..

met my father while he was In the US to study master .

His family didnt agree whith the marriage thing AT ALL ..

but he ensest and marry in the end ..

But she wasn't welcomed in mama bazza's House ..

bas after her death ..

they stand by my father ..

and try really hard to heaL my fathers griefs..

at hated the fact thak I don't Have a mother ..

laish kilshay eser bedoonha sa3ib ??

even ashya 3adiya! shoudn't hurts me that much!

It killes me when Lama Used before 2 years to Call me ( MAMA ).. and convinced her self oo her friends enna Im her "young" mother! omg! I was a kid alsoooooo!

She was maybe 6-7 years and Im 16 or 17 ..!

She did that Because she thought that Not having a mother is a crime! and there's no body will talk to her in schooL if they Knew the "thing" as she call it ..!

minu 5awalich?

the mothers day ..

lama's Birthday ..

the Flag of USA!

My face ..

My blondee hair ..

her bed ..

my father's eyes ..

She's My mother ..

FOR GOD SEAK!!!!!