55 } ~

I couldn’t sleep that night, I was very sad to the point Faris has reached on his life..

To: jassim

“ are you awake? Itha eee please call me.. “

After 10 mns he called ..

Jassim: Guwa

Shoug: ahleeen! I know you know everything that happened between me and Faris.. bas I’m so mad Jay.. ya3ni I still love him so much! he means the world to me .. always had, always will!

Jassim: 9ara7a shougoo ana madry sh9ar bainkom! Kel elly galah ley ena you broke up oo bas….

Jassim seemed to swallow some words..

Shoug: and?

Jassim: bas!

Shoug: laa! Wathe7 enna fe kalam zyaddaa jassim.. tell me please!

Jassim: shoug bas wakhray 3annah! Ana a9lan men yeena magomt akalma oo an6er elyoom elli ard feeh elkuwait..

Shoug: and why is that?

Jassim: ohwa 9ayir maynoon! Wayd yel3ab oo careless oo a6ba3a metghayra .. ma7issa elawellee..

Shoug: oh god! 7amdellah! 3abale it was just me! Sa7?

Jassim: la it’s not you.. it’s because of you, bas mo ga3d tetkhayelain .. he turned into a totally different person.. ana ma 3edt a3rfa!

Shoug: because of me? Ashkara you don’t know what happened!

Jassim: latkamleeen! I respect your privacy guys oo a9lan maby a3rf… shoug agolch el9ara7a oo mn elakheer?

I whispered: eeeh?

Jassim: there’s a typical idea of fooling around laima wa7ed ehed wa7da 3alashan yinsaha.. and that’s what faris is doing now.. ga3ed yel3ab oo e5arbe6 oo esaffir oo ekallem banat 3ala friends oo khbal .. bas 3alashan yensach..

I felt knifes on my chest..

Shoug: aha.

Jassim: ana ma wedy az3lch bas tara etha ohwa ghali entay aghla! Oo ma a7b ashoofch mza3la nafssich 3ala wa7da who’s trying his best enna yinsach! Maradda eb yensach oo entay lel7en eb nafs eldawama..

Shoug: sa7 kalamk.. thank you jassomi..

Jassim: you’re more than welcome, and I’m always there for u..

Shoug: jay…. Gabel la etsikka bas’elik… som3eta sarat khaisa?

He giggled: hehehe laa mo ley haldaraja! Kharabee6a 3adya..

Shoug: allah karem… thanks again!

I heard knocks on my door..

Shoug: meno?

Mom: omch!

Shoug: 7ayyach mama ..

Mom: menu kentay etkalmen?

Tears starts rolling on my cheeks, out of nowhere I crashed on the floor and let it all out ..

Mom hugged me tight: 7aaaaaaaaaaaaaaabebtyyyy!!!!!!! 7ayaaaaaattti entaaaaaaaaaaay! Ommmiiiiiii! Ya 3oooooomriiiiiiii … gomai gomaii .. ghaslaaaay .. 7abebetiiiiiiiiii shoshoooooooo gomaaaai ..

And with every sentence I cry even more ..

Shoug:  mamaaaa! Faris theba7niiii .. kisarle galbyyyy ..

Mom: ma yesteee7iii 3ala wayhaa .. malch sheeegheeel feeeehhh ..

She said that while whipping my tears with her warm fingers ..

I hugged her tight : ma abyyy ag3ad bel kuwaitt .. ma abyyy ashoog khalti ghada .. ma aby asma3 seertaa .. yumma ma abeeehom .. ma abeee ..

She hugged me tighter : inshala 7abeeebti .. wain ma tabeen enruu7 benrou7 .. la tabcheeen ..

Shoug: maa aby arou7 eljam3a .. I wanna live in my own cave..

Mom whispered while kissing my cheeks and forhead: inshala! Inshalla! Elli tabeena mekhalif .. bas la tabcheen cheeethe .. yalla 3afya 7abebtii entay goomai ikhtheelch shower oo 9aleelch rak3taain .. 7abebtii gomaii …

I nodded… : enzaain .. al7en .. al7eeen ..

للحبيب أشتاق حتى و أنا قربه ..

تاخذني الأشواق و أعيش في غربة ..

يا ليت له ميثاق ينصفني في حبه ..

و بحذر العشاق و اللي مشى بدربه ..

This song kept reapting on my head while taking the shower..

I wanted to stop crying, to stop feeling worthless & miserable .. I really wanted that although nobody believed that I REALLY WANTED TO SURVIVE, but loosing faris was unsurvivable to me.

I covered myself with my juicy towel which I wore on the beach the last time I had fun with Faris, and rushed to the living room..

Shoug: Yuma!

Mom: hala?

Shoug: I wanna pack my things and head to Julaiaa, I will live in out shalaih for the next month.

Mom: yanaitay?

I nodded: eeeeee........