That night... I lost the track of time, since that day I can guarantee you that I’ve became the most heartless& fearless person you’ll ever meet... I don’t have anything to lose anymore …. I lost faris, my life& my everything.
I opened my eyes because of a seveer headache, couldn’t handle the idea of telling Jassim& Nouf .. Couldn’t face the fact that “this” happened to me, to us!
I dialed his number , the 7 digits that change my aspect of life..
Shoug: “ aloo?”
Faris: “ what?”
Shoug: “ I’m not calling to tell you I have changed my mind, le’ana if there’s anyone who should change his mind fa uhwa inta.. I should be at that plane right now! “
Faris kept quite ..
Shoug: “ alooo! Fariis? “
Faris: “ na3am?”
Shoug: “ shfeek?”
Faris: “ la mafeeny shay.. bas you broke up with me yesterday & now you’re telling me ena it’s my choice to take oo ena we should be together heading to US right now! Maynona?”
Shoug: “ inta maynon!”
Faris: “ shenu tabeen al7en?”
Shoug: “ I want us.”
Faris: “ there’s not us anymore! .. it’s you.. only you!”
Shoug: “ oo inta?”
Faris: “ I don’t want you in my life anymore.”
Shoug: “ chethy ya3ne eb sahalat? Chena mako shay?”
Faris: “ if we had 0.00001% hope makent bagoolich chethe .. bas I’m hopeless! Khalas .. “
Shoug: “ it’s your choice to give up! La etges 3alay wela 3ala nafsikk wetsawy rou7k maghsoob! You choose to give up on me!”
Faris: “ roo7ay eklai shoug.. “
Shoug: “ shakel?”
Faris: “ anything… akeed mn ams ma kalaitay shay .. rou7ai ekali .. “
Shoug: “ are you serious? “
Faris: “ I have to go..”
Shoug: “ wain?”
Faris: “ away .”
& he closed the line.
I called Nouf and told her everything, she was shocked! No one could ever imagine, we were an item.. an ikon.. an unbreakable best friends & couple.
Nouf: “ oo ba3daaaaain? Shloon ya3ne!!”
I whispered: “ shloon? Mako loon! Bas! That it!”
Nouf: “ what are gonna do?”
Shoug: “ ba6eg tathkerti oo bal7ega!! “
Nouf: “ seriously?”
Shoug: “ shdarany 3annch!! Shasawey ya3ne?? “
Nouf: “ shfeech etzzifeeen enzain! “
Shoug: “ bas! La tes’eleeny as’ela ghabeya nouf! Mali khelqich .. ya3ne shenu eb eedy asweeh? I have waited for years 3alashan akher shay egolli ana ma aby atzawaj oo ana ahaly mo ratheenli atzawaj oo ana aby akammel dirasteeey! Sheno asawey?”
Nouf: “ khalas bel 6agag e6egga shoogi… eldinya mo radda 3alaih..”
I chocked: “ bas deenyete radda 3alaih nouf..”
Nouf: “ 7abeebti entay .. adri ench et7ebeenah.. bas shetsawen? Sheno eb eedich?”
Shoug: “ hatha uhwa…”
Day by day .. I wake up with tears on my eyes and pain on my chest .. I couldn’t see myself without him, I couldn’t live my life they it used to be.. faj’a nessait how my life were before everything that happened, I used to enter his email and sleep all night while I’m logged on, If felt safe.. I felt home.
Until one day, I woke up on a strange email…
From: SafiaAJ
5:01am
“ LOOOOOOOOL! Magdar asadqik farrooooss!!!! That’s hilarious!!!!!!! :D .. okaai… miss you though! Cc yaa! “
I ran to his “sent” emails ..
From: F
To: SafiaAJ
1:34am
“ adree fech mo gadra etnameen, sorry magdar akalmch my phone ran out of battery! :* haha .. see you tomorrow!”
WHAT THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN??
I texted Jassim
To: Jassim
“ hiiii .. are you awake?”
After 10 mns I got a reply from him..
From: Jassim
“ eeeh! Shfech? Khara3teene!”
To: Jassim
“ hehe sorry! Hows Miami? Zaina? .. bas’lik et3arf wa7da her email: Safia_**@hot?”
From: Jassim
“ fine.. la walla .. why?”
To: Jassim
“ just wondering .. wesalne email menha etsalem 3alai! Thanks anyways! Enojy x “
I called Nouf
Shoug: “ HE’S CHEATING ON MEEEEEEEE NOUF!!!!!!! “
Nouf: “ meno!?”
Shoug: “ faris! Nouf he’s cheating on me with wa7da isemha Safia!”
Nouf: “ Safia? Meno safia? “
Shoug: “ NOUF!!!! “
Nouf: “ shnoooo? “
Shoug: “ they’re emailing each other.. oo wath7 men kalamhoum ena ekalmoon ba3ath on phone bas uhwa emkhalis sha7na!! nouf!!”
Nouf: “ Shoug he’s not cheating.. you’re not together anymore .. oo ba3dain yemkin ma3ah beljam3a? akeed aslant m3ah beljam3a! oo …..”
Shoug: “ la7tha la7tha! Hatha mo cheating? Embala cheating! We’re not together anymore, bas it’s not done yet! “
Nouf: “ mo eb kaifch! You are done! “
Shoug: “ 7itan louw done.. uhwa maly, mo kaifha ta5tha!” .. I took a breath and whispered : “ ok he’s not mine, bas la7ad yakhtha.. “
Nouf: “ you shouldn’t care shoug..”
Shoug: “ bss I do.. “
Nouf: “ ta7amilay 3ayal!”
& we closed the line ..
I couldn’t sleep that night, I kept thinking about Faris .. his hands, the way he touched me .. the way he smells .. how another girl could make him smile? Am I that random ena chethy yensani ebser3a? .. what’s wrong with me? We’re done I shouldn’t care… I miss his messy hair .. I miss the way he smiles .. I miss his voice .. his silly jokes.. I miss him.. I miss the way I felt safe when he’s around.. I felt pretty.. secured..
I couldn’t take it anymore ..
I texted him…
To: Faris
“Who’s SafiaAJ?”