12 } ~

" Embarak 3alaich il shahar .. "
I received a msg from lulu ( a random friend) ..

I said to my mom while I was laying on the couch oo she was reading alqabas newspaper ..

Shoug : " Mashalla! Ebsir3a sar rmothaan! "

She smiled : " eeh mashalla! Elayam tarketh .. "

Shoug :" laish menu la7eqha? "

She gave me the coldest look : " waaaay ya malaqtich! " she walked away ..

I said while giggling : " waaaaaain betrou7eeeeeeen? "

My mom : " bait ome! "

I ran after her : " ana bayye .. "

I went to my room ..
And Called Faris while dressing up ..

Shoug : " aloooooo .. "

Faris : " hala 7abebtiiii .. "

Shoug : " ahleeen .. embarak 3alaik ilshahaaaar .. "

Faris : " 3alaina oo 3alaich .. shenu a3lenaw? "

I said while taking my t-shirt off : " e-ee .. betrou7 bai-t mama 6ai-ba ? "

Faris : " mashalla esbir3a yah .. entay shga3id etsaween? "

I giggled : " Sorry ga3da abadiil .. "

Faris : " yala bye bye .. video call mn ommah! "

I start laughing : " heheheheheh .. farooooos! .. come bait mama 6aiba yalla kane barou7 .. "

Faris : " enshalla ashuf .. 3a6eny sa3a .. "

I said okay and closed the line ..
libast black puffed dress ..
With Leopard Print Hair Band and applied eye liner ..

My mom we7na bil sayara : " 3ishtaaaaw il eye liner ba3ad! Men meeta? ..
a7ad lailat ermothan yetka77al oo ye6laaaa3? "

I start laughing : " hehehehe bas kobart ana lazm aser banoota! "

My mom : " eeeeh intay mo thab7ech ella etseren banoooota! .. "

I smiled : " shenu qasdech? "

She opened the radio .. and ignored my Question ..
Ughhhh! I haaaaaate it ..
I know that she know .. and she know that I know that she know! Bas we both act like nobody knows!! Which I totally HAAAAAATE!

We went to mama 6aiba's house ..
Ga3den oo suwalif oo chay oo 7ab ..
It was like our second house ..
Elli yabe enam , yashbik , eshouf tv , esolif! Heheheh
So casual and kilwa7ed oo kaifa ..

I texted Faris ..

To : Faris
" wainek? .. ana eb bait mama 6aiba ;);* "

After 10 mins. He walked in ..

Faris : " alsalam 3alaikom " with a lifting hand ..

I smiled : " wa3alaikom elsalam .. "

He kissed my mom oo khalate oo my grandma ..
I wish he could kiss me ..

He sat next to me ..

Faris : " ha shlonch? "

I smiled : " zaina .. ha wain kent? Sh3endik ta'akhart? "

Faris : " nothing .. I went to the meeting of the new entrant's
emsaweena lite7ad "

My eyes winded ..
And my heart shrank ..
I missed him already ..

Shoug : " are you sure about it? .. "

Faris nodded ..

I whispered : " la etrou7 .. "

he smiled while saying : " sebeely chay .. "
he wanted to act like "cousins"!

I stared at him ..
With tears on my eyes ..

My voice start shaking ..
And I whispered again ..

Shoug : " Faris 3alashane .. don't leave .. "

Faris :" Shoug .. khalas mama .. khalas .. eser khair .. "

3alait il tv. Volume ..

Shoug : " you'll leave me mo sa7? "

Faris : " No I won't! .. "

Shoug : " embala emabaala you will! "

I start acting like a total cranky kid!
I couldn't control my self ..

Khalti : " Shouggggg! Ez3aaaaaaaaaj! Qasreeeeeeeh! Ma nesma3 ba3ath!!!! "

I pressed mute ..
And walked out of the room ..

There was a big hall and akhra there's salat esteqbal for women elli ezoroona mama 6aiba .. I entered the esteqbal and closed the door behind me .. the light were off ..

My tears start roolling ..
I couldn't let him leave ..
Mu gadra!
A7is lel7een masarat ilsejeya oo my heart eb yougaf!
Shasawey etha ra7??
Shasawey all alone?

I was sitting in the dark ..
All alone ..
There's a tinny light men il window cus e6el 3ala ilstreet ..

Faris entered the esteqbal and closed the door behind him ..

He sat on his knee ..
It was like he's gonna propose ..
He held my hands gently ..

Faris : " shouuu .. "

I whispered : " uuuuush .. "

My tears where falling on my lap.
So some of my tears touched his fingers ..
I knew it just broke his heart ..

Faris : " shouga 7abebti don’t cry 3alshane .. "

Shoug : " la etrou7 faris .. la etrou7! Maby etrou7 maaaaby! "

Faris : " wain barou7? Kelaha America! Kahee yamna .. oo I'll have my phone oo my laptop .. "

I cut him off : " NOOO! Bas you wouldn't be here next to me ..
still enta far away! "

Faris took a breath : " ana barou7 oo adris 3alashan meno? "

I start kicking the floor : " NOOO! "

Faris : " shoug 7abebti don't act like a kid .. "

Shoug : " I can't faris walla galbe e3awerneeeee min al7eeen! "

Faris : " 7abebti entay .. enshalla I'll think about it .. okay? "

I nodded ..
And swelled my tears ..

11 } ~

My eyes popped...
Omg! Shakuuuu??

I told Noufa about him oo kilshay mn ilmostawsef lay being hessa ilkesha brother lain il add! She was like waaaaay ya7leelaaa ilnerd ye6la3 menah!!
I felt enah 7araam! Okay he's really nerd oo boring shwayya... bas still! 7aram!

Dr. faisal Says:
Elsalam 3alaikom shoug : )

After 5 mins. Pretending inna I have a life;p heheheh

Shougan .. babe that's why;* Says:
Oh! Ahleen! .. wa3alaikom ilsalam ..

Dr. faisal Says:
Sorry for adding you bedon la agoulich ..

Shougan .. babe that's why;* Says:
No you're my cousin ;) no need to ask ..

Dr. faisal Says:
Good ..

Shougan .. babe that's why;* Says:
Who gave you my email bas thakerni? ;p hehehe

Dr. faisal Says:
Hehe sorry nesait as'elich .. I took it from Hissa my sister : )

Shougan .. babe that's why;* Says:
aah great salem 3alaiha ..

Dr. faisal Says:
Is there's anything wrong? : )

Shougan .. babe that's why;* Says:
Nooooo .. at all .. expect hal yellow smile eli et7e6ha oo ga3da et'3ethne ..
Ghair chethe I'm just finnnne! ;p

Dr. faisal Says:
Heheheh sorry! ..

Shougan .. babe that's why;* Says:
Heheh that's okay ..

Dr. faisal Says:
How are you now? 3asa a7san?

Shougan .. babe that's why;* Says:
I'm good 7amdelah .. thanks for the add Faisal I'll talk to you soon inshalla .. but I have to go now! ;) see you dr. ;)

And I signed out ..

I dialled Noufa's number ..

Shoug : " oh god! Manyyy gadraaa! He's maaaaaliq oo yeg3ad 3ala ilgaaaaaalb! "

Nouf : " heheheh you accepted him? Shlounaaaaa??"

Shoug : " yuck yuck yuck! He kept putting hal fake smile et3arfeenah ilface el khayis? "

She starts laughing : " heheheh waaaaaay noooooooo masssta7meeeeeel! "

Shoug : " ohh shut up! Next time aslant I'll invite you! "

Nouf : " NOWAY honey .. walla I'll block you etha sawaiteeha! Way mali khelq malaqa please! "

*beep*
Another line ..
" Faris "

Shoug : " wait Noufoo .. "
I pressed " connect .. "

Faris : " alooo .. "

Nouf : " ahlaaaaaaaaaan! "

Faris paused for seconds ..
I felt chana wakhar il mobile oo shaf ilnumber again! Eheheh ..

Faris : " Emmm .. noufo? "

Nouf : " yes? Shfek! "

Faris : " Sorry shakle I called you bil ghala6 .. "

I start giggling ..

Faris : " aloooo? "

Me oo Nouf start laughing 3ala his tone ..
Etha7ik his voice laima eser confused ..

Faris : " amlaaaaaaaaaaaq ! "

Shoug : " hehehehhe ommmg! Sootik etha7ik shlon e5tara3t! "

Faris : " ha .. ha! Ma etha7ik! "

Noufo : " loooooool 6ala3t chicken faros? 3alabalik ana menu? "

Faris : " chab bas chab yallah .. wayid lagaitkom wayh .. "

Shoug : " lagaitkom? .. its jam3? .. me bil zaffa fariiis? "

Faris : " la bas nouf aqsed .. "

Nouf : " aaaaaaaaa bedainaaaaa?? Affa faroooooos ma haqaitek chethe! Ana khobre feek sebe3 .. mash'ha seeda tara yallah etla77iq .. "

I start giggling : " heheheh maaaaliqa 3ana iltesheyesh .. "

We all start laughing oo suwalif the'3a6 oo the7ek ..
When others ekonoon around me and faris ..
Enrid normal cousin ..
And that's what I love the most about our relationship ..

Faris : " mashala Ramadan after 2 weeks .. metkhaylen? "

Shoug : " Istaghferallah maaali kheeeeelq .. "

Nouf: " laaaa bil3aaaaaaks! I missed jeyam .. and being like sailaneyat in our 3abaya's heheheheh "

I start laughing while remembering suwalifna il 3abee6a eb Ramadan .. istaghferallah ma ye6la3 il yenoon ella eb hal shahar la oo lazm bil mousqe bil salat! ;x

Shoug : " heheheh tathkereen yoom fa6oom edoos 3abayat il old weman wella etzefha oo etsarekh eb wese6 ilsalat oo ma rethat 7ag fa6om etsalle? "

Nouf : " heheheh yaaaaaaa! Omg she was insane! Walla mu sa7ya! Ghasub etzif! Galatlich sorry! La ghasib etkhallis elzafa .. "

Faris : " enzain ana shenu mawtho3ey wana makent labis 3baya weyakom? '

Shoug : " heheheheehhe we told you aslant ilsalfa! Et3arefhaaaaaa! "

Nouf : " yaaaa! The old woman elli fa6om dasat 3ala her 3abaya oo qamat etzef oo etsarekh oo fa6oom etgolaha sorry 3alshan taby tel7aq 3ala ilsalat while ilwoman ghasub betzef .. it took her about 15 mins yalla eshba3at zaf! Bas fa6ooma's face heheheh omg it was worthless! "

Faris : " heheheh eeee thekart .. "

Nouf : " enzain yala I have to go guys .. bye .. "
She closed the line ..

Faris whispered : " heeey .. "

I start giggling as always ..

Shoug : " heheheh ahleeen …"

Faris : " Ramadan this year will be special to someone .. "

I smiled : " really? .. How? "

Faris : " I'll show you inshalla .. "

I blushed ..
I know he's telling me the truth ..
I know he's gonna create my history all over .. Again! ;*

10 } ~

we were chatting about every single detail Sarat eb hal last few weeks ..
while eating our burgers oo share laughs about suwalifhm eb Paris ..

faris were normal .. laughing oo talking about Paris oo ilsuwalif elii sarat ..
tell Nouf said ..

Nouf : " bas omg it's so romantic! Mo malat family trip at all! .. It's amazing for a honeymoon ..."

Me and fa6oma did our: "awwwwwwhhh! Cuuuuuteeee! "

Jassim said while laughing: " shda3wa 3alaikom!"

A7med : " 3awanis mesakeen ma yenlamoon! "

Fa6om : " singles please mu 3awanis 7alaya wayhik .. "

We all start laughing 3ala nejrat'hum ..
I turned my face 3ala faris with a half smile ..
I was putting my hand yamme on the corner of my chair ..
He reached for my hand .. And touched my fingers softly ..
I start blushing oo giggling ..

Nouf : " shelli ethaaaa7kech? "

I was blushing so hard ..
A7is it's hot .. mu gadra atkalam ..

Faris : " wentay shaku feha! "

Nouf raised her eye browses : " bedaina? "

A7med : " walainnn! Entaqlat il nejra lekom? "

I break a laugh .. cause wath3ah oo uhwa ghabi ma yadre shesalfa kan etha7ik ;p ..


Me and faris kept talking to each other every single day ..
I became so attached to him ..
I couldn't breath without his voice ..
He was my everything ;*


Shoug : " I'll go to il mustawsef Now .. I'm so sick .. "

Faris : " 7abebtii .. do want me to take you 7ag il6abeb? "

Shoug : " noo .. please you don't have too …"

Faris : " 7ayate I want to come .. "

Shoug : " 7abebe please walla wayhe ma'sat I have a flue .. mabeee "

He starts laughing : " heheheheh .. it's don't matter entay pretty anyway .. "

I start giggling : " heheheh .. ya you'll change your mind when you see my red nose heheheh .. awch la et'9a7ekni .. "

Faris : " hehe yalla 7ayate rou7ay ildr. Oo 6amnene shegolich .. ok? "

I nodded : " ok .. "

Libast a black training oo white t-shirt maktoob 3alaiha bil yellow ( HELLO) ..
Left my hair up in a ponytail ..
And went to the dr.

I sat waiting for my number for 10 mins. Taqreban ..
6ooL ilwaqt I was texting faris ofcourse ..

To: faris
" brb badish 3ala ildr. Finaaaaaaally ;p "

I knocked on the door ..

The dr. : " come in .. "

I smiled while walking in ..
I was thinking " please god! Mu oo ana shakle chethe ekoon il 6abeb handsome oo around 25 years old! Mu waaaagtttta! "

Ok he was around 25 .. but mu handsome heheheh ..
Short .. small black eyes .. one dimple ..
Kuwaiti! Nothing special eb his face ..
7adda typical kuwaiti man ..

The dr: " 3asa masher .. " he took the paper from my hand .. " shoug? "

I sat on the black mustawsef chair ..

Shoug : " flu! .. I guess .. "

The dr. : " say aaa .. "

I opened my mouth ..
He did some random things ..

The dr: " nothing dangerous .. it's just a flu "

OOOOOOOH REALLYYYYYY?

I gave him a look : " I know! .. I told you! "

The dr. : " enzain shfech em3asba! "

Shoug : " huh.. I'm not! I'm just sick! "

He smiled : " you know Hissa alx? "

I rolled my eyes while thinking about Hissa ..
She's my 2nd 2nd 2nd 2nd 2nd cousin!!!
Shay eserlina mn eb3eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddd ..
I don't even remember her wayid!
Kanaw eyon mama 6aiba's house oo tel3ab m3ana ..
Bas she6ary..!

I smiled : " hissa? .. hissssa! .. yes? "

The dr. : " well guess what? .. she's my sister! "

I opened my mouth in a surprised way : " really? .. I don't remember you!! "

The dr. : " shloooooon nada? "

I giggled : " good! Married with a little dalal! "

The dr. : " ya I know .. 3ethman her husband yeg3ad m3ana bil dwaneya .. "

I smiled : " ya7lelah 3ethman he's kind .. "

Ok ok .. what's next?

He smiled ..
I took my paper ..
and left the mostawsef ..

I dialed faris's number..

Shoug : " ommmg! Faros tathker 7issaaaaa alx?? "

Faris : " ha? Om kasha? "

I start laughing so hard : " hahaha oh my god!!!! Hahah ta5ayyaaaaal the dr. tawa u5ooha! And he recognized me!! Heheh mathkeraaaaa!! "

Faris : " mashallaaaa faisal sar 6abeb! Ana khubre feh eb thanya jam3a! "

Shoug : " yaaaaa! He's name is faisaaaaal!! Mathekart esma etsaddiq! Kent aby ashoof bil paper shesma .. bas kheft echekni oo etfashaaal! "

We start laughing oo talking about the old days ..
Ayam il 6ufoola il '3abeya heheh ..
Radait ilbait ..
Took my pills .
Drank hot chicken and corn soup ..
And layed on the living room ..

My mom entered the living room and touched my forehead ..

My mom : " shlounch? "

I nodded : " good .. "

My mom : " tawne sheft faris .. "

Galbe naghazne .. what the point of telling me?

Shoug : " so? "

My mom : " I'm just telling you! "

I smiled : " aha .. "

My mom : " is there's anything I should know about your weird relationship with fairs? "

I raised my voice : " ayyyy weird? He's my cousin!! There's nothing weird about it!!!!!! "

My mom stood up : " shfech 3asabtay? .. I'm just asking!! "

Shoug : " there's nothing to talk about .. mafena shay! .. he's my cousin and I'm close to him .. mashof feha shay .. "

My mom : " walla etha 3araft ghair hal 7ache ya wailch .. "

I took my blanket and walked toward my room while mumbling : " fine fine ! "

I entered my room and locked the door ya3ni em3asba ..

I called faris ..

Shoug : " uuf! Mama etbu6 ilchaaaaaaabd! "

Faris : " 3aib hal 7ache shougo .. "

Shoug : " la la sij sij .. she really pissed me off! "

Faris : " why 7abebti? "

Shoug : " she's asking me etha fe shay bainnah .. etgoli a7is! Oo etha darait enna there's something ya wailech!! "

Faris : " la et5afef 7abebti she cares about you oo e7eq laha et7ate oo et5af .. "

My voice start shaking : " et5af? .. et5af mennik? "

Faris : " uuush .. calm down .. nafs hal waqt next year
kilshay bekon ok .. deal? "

Shoug : " what do you mean? "

Faris : " ya3ni I wont go to USA wentay em3aliqa! .. ofcourse my mom will talk to yours oo eser kilshay official .. "

I smiled : " promise? "

Faris : " aked promise .. "

I blow him a kiss : " a7ibek .. "

Faris : " a7ibech akthar .. yalla galbi namay al7een ..
your voice no comment .. "

I giggled : " heheh chenna mo 3ajbik? "

Faris : " heheheh no it's amazing .. bas rou7mene oo 6ebaay ebsir3a .."

Shoug : " heheheh maaliq .. yalla bye .. "

I closed the line ..
And opened my laptop .
It was around 8 pm ..
So taw il nas enny anam ..

Awal ma I signed in ..
6ala3li a blue box ena fe a7ad added me ..
And yaaa ..
guess what??
It was ..



Dr. faisal!

9 } ~

My heart starts beating so heart mn ilfashla ..
I start mumbling ; " oh god! Enta sema3t? .. Oh god! Fashla fashla! .. I .. I .. "

He whispered : " uuush..! "

I let a nervous giggle .. : " hehe .. fa-fashla.. "

Faris : " a7ibch ya bent il nas .. a7ibech! "

Mn kether ma I was blushing and feeling hot ..
7asait enna I'll cry any second soon ..


I giggled ..

Faris : " ma sema3t .. "

I start laughing ..
Do you know the moment elli you're so happy le darajat you words kanat describe ur inside feeling ..

Faris : " yalla abe ared ilkuwait .. " he whispered ; " abi aredlich .. "

Shoug : " hehe .. oh god! .. a7is enny in a dream .. "

Faris said joking : " zain geltay dream mu nightmare .. ham ne3ma .. "

I giggled : " heheheh la shda3wa .. "

Firs : " so am I your dream ? "

I nodded ..

He whispered ; " shougii ?? "

I whispered : " yes you're .. "

Faris : " 7abebti entay .. "

7abebti? .. it just stole my heart ..

I was whispering for some reason ..

Shoug : " fashla noouf yamek .. "

Faris : " she's not .. oo ba3dain malina sheghel feha .. I'll say these things jedam allah oo khalqa .. 7abebti oo kaife .. "

I giggled : " faris bas ga3da atfashaaaaal .. "

Faris : " akhaih .. la etkathren hal tedele3 walla yugaf galbe .. "

I smiled .. while the fact of his sickness jumped in the middle ruining my best moment!

Shoug : " Esmillah 3alaaaaik .. "

Faris : " yallaa bas bas kane kane rad! Kane ray7 ilma6ar khalas! "

I start laughing : " heheheh .. farrroooooosssss yalla 3adddddd .. walla il3athem ana ellli betwagefli galbeeee .. "

Faris : " Esmellah 3ala galbich .. "

My mom opened the my bedroom door ..

My mom : " entay menu ga3da etkalmeen ..? "

I raised my eyes while still laying down on my bed ..

Shoug : " faris .. "

My mom : " mu berdoon bachir? Shmalah il mosarreef ilzaida? Haa? .. " she said while taking the phone from me : " 3a6ene 3a6ene bakallem omaa .. "

My mom : " halaaaa fairs hala yuma .. wain omek? .. laaah! Oo khaltik hessa? .. weeh! .. walla e7na tamam .. enta shloonk? .. eeh adri tawne azfha 3ala hal hathra .. heheheh .. yalla zain .. bacher meta radatkom? 6 ilmagharb? Yalla khosh .. m3a ilsalama 7abebe .. sallem 3al jemeee3 .. "

She gave me my mobile ..
I took a deep breath ..

My mom smiled : " shfech 6akha ? "

I smiled : " nothing .. "

My mom : " la walla sh3endich? "

I start giggling : " haw wela shay! '3asub? .. wela shay .. "

I was happy ..
I wanted to tell her about faris ..
I wanted to dance in the street while singing his name ..
to put his name in my msn nickname ..
to lay down next to him ..
to touch his cheek bones ..
to love him .. deeply!;*


the next day ..
I woke up in the morning with a huge smile on my face ..
My heart was beating so hard men ams ..
I was happy .. exited .. and scared shwayy ..
I didn't know how my mom oo khalti ghada oo all the family will react ..
And I'm not strong enough to fight for the one I love or to face my family ..
I admit it !
I fond 3 msgs ..

From : Nouf
7:58 am
" s7aaaaaailaaaaaa;* im happy for you alot!;* .. I won't tell anyone ;) because its ur choice not mines ;* see you tonight Inshalla .. "

From : Faris
8:10 am
" 7ayate inshala benrid 6 ilmagharb;* can't wait to see you .. oo we'll eat dinner together okay? ;* "

From : Jassim
10:30 am
" tara kelena eb net3asha barra today with nouf oo faros at 8pm in Johnny rockets marina mall .. and shougo adre enny bamorich so don't even ask! ;p "

I giggled ..
Mu sa7y walla ..

I texted faris back ..

To: Faris
2:00 pm
" good morning ;** adri enk bil 6ayara now ;* .. miss you can't wait ;* "

To : Nouf
2: 03 pm
" adre enich bil 6ayara yal jiker ;* thanks for everything babe .. I can't even thank you enough .. bas I hate you shway ;p "

To : jassim
2:06 pm
" enzain ;p I'm waiting mn il 5 babadil! "

I jumped out of my bed ..
Singing all long to the living room ..

Shoug : " a7iiiiiibeeeeeeeeeeek laaaaa tegoooooool shlooooooon .. kither ma etghaaaaaayir a7waaaaaaleeeeeee kitehr ma jeet fe baaaaaaaaleeee .. a7iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiibkkkkkkkk .. a7iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiibkkkkkkkkk .. "

Nada : " braaaaaaaavoooo .. "

I hugged her ..

Nada is my sister .. she's bigger than me eb 9 years .. she's married with 1 kid dalal ..

Nada : " shenu hal mooood? "

I blushed .. she didn't even ask me about it oo I start blushing?

Shoug : " heheh 7addy happy laish noufo oo faros beyoon .. "

Nada: " eeeeeee betrou7en bait mama 6aiba elyoom? Beyoon? "

Shoug : " no matwaga3 .. cus metwa3den eb net3asha kelna eb Johnny "

Nada was smiling she knew enna there's something different with me ..

My mom : " ana channy sema3t mashroo3 6al3a ehne?? "

I nodded while giving her the puppy eyes : " yuppp yupiiiii .. "

My mom : " mu chennich masakhteeha?? "

I pointed om my chest : " ana?? Ana?? .. aslant mn safaraw nouf oo faris wana ma6la3! Mama please .. "

My mom : " enzain enzain .. keeellla mo 6al3a! kella maskeena! "

I giggled while kissing her cheek ..
Shoug : " a7ibch .. "


I went to my room took a shower ..
And waived my hair in a big waves ..
With a lot of jel to keep it the way I wanted ..
It was shinny and thick ..

I saw my mobile ..
It was 5:30 pm ..

" Faris " is calling ..
I took a deep breath …

Shoug : " alooo .. "

Faris : " you are smiling .. mo sa7? "

I giggled : " heheheh yes .. shdarak? "

He whispered : " I felt it .. "

I blushed : " waink? "

Faris : " tawna waslen .. ewsalat il 6ayara embachir .. "

I heard nouf's voice from the back : " sallem 3alaihaaaa .."

Faris : " nouf etsalem 3alaich .. "

Shoug : " 7ayate allah esalemha .. and 7emdelah 3ala ilsalama .. "

Faris : "allah esalmch .. I have to go shouga .. I'll call you later ok? "

Shoug : " sure .. mara7 teye Johnny? "

Faris : " eldinner? Embala .. khalas khalas see you there .. because im going home aghasil oo asalle .. so ashofch eb Johnny ok? "

Shoug : " can't wait .. "

Faris : " 7abebti entay .. bye .. "

Shoug : " bye .. "

I closed the line while staring at me waved hair ..
It looks adorable ..
Libast silk white dress with velvet black bow ..
Makan 3endy ay bag tesla7 ..
So I just took my classic LV wallet ..
I knew that my mom will never let me wore make up ..
So I put some peachy blush .. and went to her room oo 7a6ait mascara for her's ..
And applied a red lipstick in the outdoor kitchen before going to the car for jassim ..
I know wearing make up in the age of 16 and behind your mother's back cheap ..
Bas come on..! I was with my cousins .. and faris!
I wanted to look beautiful oo my mom wouldn't understand this for sure ..

Awal ma rekabt il car ..

Jassim : " oh oh ohhhh !! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's this??? Shaaaaaal zain? "

I blushed : " really? I look nice? "

He nodded while pressing the radio button .. : " ee walla! .. "


My heart was beating so hard all the way to marina ..


Jassim parked .. : " yalla emshay .. "

I took a deep breath ..
I was saying to my self : " calm down .. calm down .. "
All the way to Johnny I felt eb weakness in my knees and my hand were shaking so hard .. I wasn't feeling well at all ..

We entered Johnny ..
I spotted nouf .. fa6ma .. a7med ..
And faris were giving us his back ..
His natural brown hair behind his red cap ..
It was charming ..
Nouf said while waving : " hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii … "

Faris turned his face ..
He gave us his profile ..
Oo bas his big eyes looked at me ..
Stared at me ..
He was eating me alive ..!

My eyes winded ..
I was happy ..
And that was so obvious ..
He covered his mouth .. while one finger on his cheek ..

Jassim stood up 3ala ras il6awla : " guuuuwa! " he kissed faris ..
And shook nouf's hand .. : " 7amdelah 3asalama .. "

I hugged Nouf : " heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey .. welcome back .. "

She whispered : " you look damn sexy ya 7mara .. "

I giggled while turning my face to faris ..

Shoug :" hi there .. welcome back .. "

His eyes went smaller ..
And he gave me a dazzling half smile ..

He pointed 3ala ilchair eli yamma : " come here .. "

Nouf start laughing : " heheheh ommg! Miss you guyyyyysssss! "

I knew she weren't laughing laish shafatna!
She were laughing 3ala tetene7 faris oo khaqette ana!

I sat next to him ..


................. And here when we started our story as a couple ;*

8 }~

A long post ..
Dedicated to your souls ;*
Love you girls;*



I couldn't sleep that night..
I kept sniffing and rolling in my bed all night long ..
I couldn't believe enna he's not .. Mine!
What is love?
I just wanna know the answer of this question ..
Because I'm feeling something new .. Something weird ..
And I just can't point my finger on ..!

" Shouuuuuuuuggggggggggg .. " my mom kept yelling ..
" gomaay! It's 2 pm!! 7aram 3alaich!! "

I opened my eyes .. and nodded ..
Shoug : " inshalla! Inshalla! "
She went out side my room ..

I covered my head with my cold Buffy yellow cover ..
And started my day with a .. hot tear touched my frozen heart ..

After washing my face .. brushing my teethes .. eating corn flex ..
I checked my mobile ..
Do you know the feeling elli mn kether ma you're down ..
You don't wanna see your mobile because every time it beeps your heart
hurts you more and more?

I found one mms ..

From: Nouf
It was a picture of Nouf and faris holding vanilla ice cream and smiling toward the camera ..
it was wonderful ..

I zoomed and zoomed and zoomed .. there he is ..
His charming face ..
I stared for few mins at his face ..
I whispered : " what's happening to me faris? .. I can't control my self.. help me .. im falling .. and .. it hurts .. "

* beep *

From : Nouf
" heeey beautiful did you received the picture? "

To: Nouf
" yaaaaa it's amazing ;) "

From: Nouf
" heheheh thanks .. we charming love birds .. "

I thought like : " huh! A7ad yemda7 rou7ah bil ghasub ?? "
I just wanted to bunch her on the face ..
To cut her into small pieces and throw her to sharks!
I just wanted to spit on her face ..
To .. CRY HARD!

I joined msn as always ..
Put (busy) ..
Because makan li khelq chatting at all ..

*deeding*
* deeding*
*deeding*

I said : " bas bas! Darainaaaa enna you're talking! Ge6aa3! "

I though it was jassim or fa6oom ..
No3hum when anyone joined msn .. they'll start talking oo typing ebsir3a 3alshan e6afroona oo start sending nudges oo hal suwalif illy taqher ..

I turned my red eyes to the laptop screen ..
It was ..

( - Faris ….)

Why? Why you're talking to me?

I just wanted to ran away ..
While screaming ..

I opened the conversation ..

- Faris …. Says:
Hello

- Faris ….Says:
Aloo??

- Faris…. Says:
Shaklich really busy .. just wanted to say hi ..

I took a deep breath ..
I don't have the right to be mad ..
I didn't say anything to him about falling hard for him ..
Oo Noufa too matadre enna Im .. in love .. with .. the one she chose..!
so .. astahel!

- Shougan .. ya3ni mafe? Mafe ghairek eb kil hatha ilwujod? .. Says:
Ahleeeeeeeen .. Sorry kent away ;)

- Faris .. Says:
La that's okay ..

Awkward silent ..
So he knew that Nouf told me about "them" ?
He loves her back?
Even if he doesn't .. any man in this world if a girl told him that she loves him .. he'll love her back!!! ohma chethe…!!

- Faris …. Says:
Miss you ;*

I just start collecting my broken heart..!
I don't wanna fall for a taken man!!
I just can't ..
oo mo ay man? ..
NOUF'S MAN?
My best cousin ..
I just can't do that to her ..
But nouf ..
Seriously ..
Mako ella faris?? :')


- Shougan .. ya3ni mafe? Mafe ghairek eb kil hatha ilwujod? .. Says:
Me too walla misses you all guys ;)


And I went offline ..

I just ran to our backyard ..
And start crying and breathing so fast ..
I need some ear ..
I'm choking with my tears and my disappointment ..
How can I face them as a "couple" ?
When the idea of it killed me that much?

*beep*

From: Nouf
" where are you? .. Im faris ;) "

Are they kidding me??
Uhma qasdene wela shenu?
And we have been close since forever ..
Men metaaaaaaaaaa faris ediz msg from her mobile?

I replied :
" Im sleepy oo banam! Gn "

While I was going up stairs to my room ..

" Nouf" is calling ..
I pressed the red button ..
And closed in on her face !

From : Nouf
" what's wrong with you? .. I'm N.! "

I texted her back ..

To : Nouf
" men meta faris yestakhdiim ur mobile? .. did you told him? "

From : Nouf
" wait .. why you're angry at me! Did I do anything wrong? "

To : Nouf
" No you didn't .. shakli ya nouf walla ana elli did! :') .. Im tired .. good night .. "

" Nouf" .. Is calling

I took a deep breath ..
And picked the phone ..

" alo .. " I said .. it was obvious that I was crying ..

Nouf : " heeey babe .. "

Shoug : " hala nouf .. what wrong? "

Nouf : " what's wrong with you .. mu with me .. "

a couldn't control my tears ..
and my sniffing ..

Shoug : " nothing nouf! .. im tired oo banam! "

Nouf : " shougo .. "

Shoug : " ha nouf? ha? "

Nouf : " can I ask you a question? "

Shoug : " wh-what? .. " *Sneef*

Nouf : " how do you feel right now? "

Shoug : " I wanna slap you on the face nouf! I swear I do .. " and I start crying ..

Nouf : " men mita e7na chethe ha shougo? Men mita ma etgolili what's happening in your life? .. what's in your heart ha? .. menu elli galli once " we share hearts and thoughts" ?? .. mu hatha kalamch? .. "

Shoug : " *Sneef* .. what do you mean ya3ni..? "

There was a white flash on my head ..
I couldn't understand anything ..
I though this would be the last phone call between me and Nouf ..
And over what? Over .. faris!
The idea of loosing nouf and faris at the same time .. crushed my heart ..

Nouf : " shougo ya 7mara 3alabalich ana blind wela ma3rfich?? "

I'll lose her .. Now ..
I knew it ..
Sa7abt clinks from my bag ..
And started whipping me cheeks ..
I took a long breath ..

Shoug : " Noufa .. I wish you luck ok? And Im happy for you .. but please .. Im tired ok? And I don't wanna talk about anything right now .. ok? And please add to that ….. "

Nouf cut me off : " listen to me.. listen .. before more than one month .. when we were in mama 6aiba's house oo you was seeing hatha il greek wedding movie .. tathkeren? "

Shoug : " I don't wanna know how your love story started nouf! I really don't want ……."

She cut me off again : " shut upppp Shougggg and listen to what I have to sayyy..! " ..

she added while giggled : " hathe elli ba6eqha .. "

I smiled .. that's my nouf!

Shoug : " golay .. im all yours"

Nouf : " that day .. faris came to me oo galle enna he loves you since forever oo never knew how to tell you .. because etha gallich oo you didn't feel the same it would be awkward and we'll lose our group cus beser ilwath3 khayis oo we'll never be able to hang out together .. he was gonna tell you enna he loves he eb that meeting eli sawwoh lihum eljam3a .. but he couldn't .. and yoom bait mama 6aiba .. we played truth or dare 3alashan enshuf maytich! .. and you broke his dream Shougo .. kesartay feeh! "


I think I saw heaven while she was describing the way he was trying so hard to tell me ..
I recalled a lot of situations where faris kan begooli shay oo tana7!

Nouf : " shougo? "

I was smiling and blushing ..

Nouf : " and one more thing .. I do not love him! Wai333 loooooool! " and she break a laugh ..

Shoug : " oh god noufo! "

I closed my eyes ..
And threw my self on the bed ..

Shoug : " and shdarach now enna I'll say ok and it wouldn't be awkward? "

Nouf : " wayhich! .. aslant 7ady met7asfa laish I wasn't there to see your face! I know it's worthless! "

I giggled : " khaisaaaa .. "

Nouf : " fedait el soout elli khaaaqqqq .. "

I blushed so hard : " heheh chubaaaaaay .. "

Nouf : " so .. what do you think shouga? "

I whispered while smiling : " I think I love him .. I really do .. "


















…………. " oo ras ommiiiiiii me tooo! "
He yelled from the back!
I was on speaker?
Shit! Fashlaaaaaa ..

7 } ~

I opened my eyes in the middle of the night...
Checked my mobile...

From: Nouf
2:30am
12. Aug.2002
"Hey guys ... gonna miss you all!;* take care .. I'll text bas ousal .. "

What?
It has been 2 days since I told her about me and faris!
oo she told me enna she's gonna ask him oo etgooli ..
and that what I get after 2 days of waiting?

I texted her ..
To: Nouf
" etrou7en wetriden bilsalama honey;* .. did you talked to faris?? "

She didn't replay ..
So I fell a sleep ..
And in the morning .. guess what?
I didn't fond anything!

The days were moving so slowly without Nouf and faris ..
I love jassim oo fa6oom oo a7mad .
But my relationship with nouf was something else ..
Something out of this world ..
And faris .. you know!;'*

** (( Rajja3 shere6 7ayatak .. alleb fe thekrayatak .. 7a etla'ey 7abeb wafalak .. 7aqaqlak kul amalak .. yama shaal il basma mn foog shafaifoo 3ashan yedehalak .. kan huwa ildafa oo ilbard .. kan 7uthnuu janayen ward .. kan 7abebe far7ak .. waqt jar7ak kan yebki badalak ….)) **

My phone rang ..
While I was in my own world ..

My mom : " Shouug .. "

In my head : " why I'm so down and concern about faris? .. he's my cousin tara … I shouldn't care this much! .. what's wrong with me? "

My mom : " SHOUUUUUUUGG!! "

I jumped : " haa.. hala? Hala? "

My mom giggled : " heheheh esmillah 3alaich .. ur phone is ringing sarla sena! "

1 Missed call ..
" jassim "

I called him back ..

Shoug : " hala jassom .. "

Jassim : " ha shwaig shlonch? "

Shoug : " good.. you? "

Jassim : " you don't sound "good" at all! .. 3asa masher? Be3eeni bil soug yuba .. "

Shoug: " ma-mafene shay wa-walla .. "

My voice starts shaking ..
I was weak!
I don't know why ..

Jassim : " shougo!!! Shfech? La etkhar3eny! "

I took a deep breath : " nothing walla .. "

Jassim : " you know ena I'm always there for you .. sa7? "

I nodded : " I know jassom .. thankyou 7abebe inta .. "

Jassim : " shda3wa .. you're my sister .. "

I smiled ..
I felt peace naw3an ma ..
I felt enna I'm not completely alone ..

I closed the line ..
Wella there's a msg from Nouf ..

From: Nouf
" hello;* shloonich .. miss you ;* "

Galbi naghazne ..
Nouf mu chethe tetkallam ..
There's something different!

I replied …..

To: Nouf
" ahleeeeen .. good ;) .. miss you too .. "

I roolled in my bed ..
I was tired imotionly
I couldn't figure out what's wrong with me ..
I felt like .. loosing my self!

From: Nouf
" wainch at home? .. Deshay msn ... miss you;* "

THAT WASN'T NOUF!!!!!!
SHE DON'T SPEAKES CHETHE .. AT ALL!!!

She got into my nerves ..
Ehya already ba66a chabdi laish 7aqratne oo didn't talk to faris!
I was pissed off because of the fact that she's with faris and I'm .. NOT!

I joined msn ..

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
Ahlaaaaaan ahlaaaaaaaaaan ;* miss you ..

- Shouga .. hal za3la la tab6e il entethar mamlool..! ;'* .. says:
hala 7obe .. miss you too .. shlonch? Shakhbarich? Are you having fun? ;*

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
Eeeeh walla .. waaaaayid ;p

Her display picture showed it ..
It was her and faris in front of evil tower ..
I missed his face so much ..
I moved my toshiba laptop close to my face ..
Her dp 7ad'ha small! I couldn't see 3adiil ..

- Shouga .. hal za3la la tab6e il entethar mamlool..! ;'* .. says:
your displaaaaay etshaaaaaawiq .. shakla il weather 3awar galb! ;/

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
Yaa .. and faris too! 3awar galb :*!

My eyes start scratching me ..
And my throat start shaking ..
I wasn't able to understand shenu taqsed..!

- Shouga .. hal za3la la tab6e il entethar mamlool..! ;'* .. says:
hehe .. ya7lela salmay 3alaihum kelhum

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
Yousal ;* .. agoolich shogoo I wanna tell you something .. baine oo bainech .. okay?

- Shouga .. hal za3la la tab6e il entethar mamlool..! ;'* .. says:
noufo men sejich you're asking?? .. Sure you can say whatever you want! ;*

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
7abebtiiiiiiii ;* ..

My heart start beating so fast ..
7asait enna it's beating in my throat!

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
Ana men ziman 7asa eb hal shay . but now I had the courage to bring it out to the whole world ..

- Shouga .. hal za3la la tab6e il entethar mamlool..! ;'* .. says:
are you pregnant? ;p

I start giggling in a nervous way ..
I was so pissed off .. oo ham scared ..
I wanted to show her that " I don't care"!
And channy cool oo 3adii .

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
Heheheh .. NO! ;p .. agoolich ..

She starts typing ..
It took her a while ..

- Nouf.. P A R I S .. says:
It have been 2 weeks we7na eb Paris .. and today qarart enna I'll take a step ..
Shougoo im falling so hard for faris! .. I couldn't imagine enna I'll fall for him .. but .. well, it happened .. he's so sweet , charming and caring man .. and he's my cousin after all! Ya3ni mu a7ad ma3ref tarbeta oo his family oo chethe ..

IT WAS A SNAP ON MY FACE..!!
I covered my face with my small hands ..
And took a deep breath ..

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
Shougoo I know enna it's hard to face all the family .. maybe some of them will find it sick .. bas I LOVE HIM .. and I shouldn't care what others think ..!

- Shouga .. hal za3la la tab6e il entethar mamlool..! ;'* .. says:
but .. but you're older..!

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
In what? .. 3 months? .. 3ady!!

- Shouga .. hal za3la la tab6e il entethar mamlool..! ;'* .. says:
did you told him??


PLEASE SAY NO .. SAY NO ..!

- Nouf .. P A R I S .. says:
Shougo .. I have to go now .. bas agdar ashbik I'll text you .. bye babe;*

I closed the laptop without shutting it down..!
It broke my heart ..
It literally b r o k e m y h e a r t ..

I laid down in my bed ..
Remembering her words ..
She's saying my thoughts ..
Chenna .. ana!

Wait shoug ..

Do You love him?
Do You wanna show him off to the world?

I closed my eyes ..
Hoping i wont open it the next day ..!

6 } ~

It have been 2 weeks since the last time I saw faris ..
I really don't know what's wrong with him ..
He didn't show up in mama 6aiba's house ..
Wella dash msn …
He just disappeared!

I called him twice .. bas marad!
I texted him ..

To: Faris
"Miss you faros ;* .. shloonik? .. hope to see you gabel la tamshon ;) "

They were going to Paris after few days ..
Bait khalti Ghada ( faris's mom) oo bait khalti Hissa ( Nouf's mother) ..

It was Wednesday morning...
When I received msg from lulu..
From: lulu
" Hi girls .. Don't forget our lunch today at 2pm in chocolate bar marina mall ;) .. Hope to see you there.. Reply please ;p "

To : lulu
" suuuuuure! I'm on the way ;p heheheh"

It was around 12:30pm
So I took a shower , changed into my Mandela satin dress it was cocktail so libast fooga a light brown cardigan and waved my hair blushed my cheeks with peachy colored blusher .. and took my Gucci big bag .. oo called for Shakeer our driver ..

On the way to the gulf road ..
I was searching for any msg or missed call men faris!
Mn kether ma ana mestaghreba laish malah 7es gilt maybe he sent a msg or called wana mashifta!
I Pressed " Faris " ..
No answer ..!

I called Nouf ..

Shoug : " noufa! "

Nouf in a sleepy voice : " hallaaaa .. "

Shoug : " did you talk to faris this few days? "

Nouf : " what? Faros? .. mmm I guess .. "

Shoug : " I .. "

Nouf : " wait I saw him yesterday in mama 6aiba's house! ..
why you are asking? "

Shoug : " I don't know what's wrong with him .. fagdetah mn ziman ma dag or asked about me .. "

Nouf : " mn meta we wait each other to call or ask?? .. you call him! "

Shoug : " I did!! .. I called him gabiL degega! Oo he didn't answered me! .. I don't know laish a7is enna he's za3lan 3alay or something ..! "

Nouf : " I don't think so..! you didn't do anything wrong to him .. did you? "

Shoug : " uuhh .. no! .. I'm sure I didn't do anything wrong ..! "

Wesalt chocolate bar ..
Oo we sat inside because of the kheesa oo 7ar out side ..
It was nice .. but akward ..
I hate how I cant fit it ..
I can't have fun without my cousins .
A7is enna there's something missing bedoonhum ..
Oo even etha 6ala3t with friends .. ma astanis ..
A7is I want them .. maby friends ghair my cousins .. uuh ! ;/

…. : " enta wain ya3ne? khalas khalas yuba kanna yeyeenkom .."

I knew this voice ..
The ba77a ..
The .. WARM ba7a!
I knew it ..

I was giving the door my profile ..
So I turned ..
And Faris turned his face as well ..
So our eyes met for seconds before he moved his adorable eyes away ..
Ana walked out of chocolate bar ..
My heart froze ..
And I felt cold in the middle of august!
I felt like running after him ..
Hug him ..
Asking him : " what's wrong with you?? "

After the lunch I went to my grandmother house oo I didn’t saw him also!
I was so mad oo pissed off that night ..
Kint really really maqhooooura!
Whyyyyyyy he's ignoring me??
He's not only my cousin! ..
He's so special to me ..!

I joined msn around 8pm..

- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim!!

I pressed his nickname ..


- Shougan says:
Hiiiiiiiiii ..

After 5 mines maybe ..

- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim!! says:
Hala.

- Shougan says:
Miiiiiiiiisssssssssssss youuuuuuuu;*


- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim!! says:
Me too ..

- Shougan says:
What's wrong with you?

- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim!! says:
Ana? .. nothing! : )

- Shougan says:
Don't lie to me faris .. I know there's something wrong.. tara walla I have been calling mn 3 weeks maybe wnta 7aqirne!!! I though before safraktoom we'll see each other .. abi ashba3 menkom!!! *crying icon*

My tears start rolling down ..

- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim! Is typing ..

I added ..

- Shougan says:
And by the way I SAW YOU TODAY IN CHOCOLATE BAR!!!!!!
Ana etsid 3anny faris? Ana?? .. I didn't do anything to you .. oo you have been ignoring me oo treating me like shit from 3 weeks oo ana sakta oo bala3t'ha mn ghalatik .. oo after all of that .. etshofne oo etsid? Like we were kind of strangers ..!

He stopped typing ..
After few minutes .
He started typing again ..

I start crying so hard while reading my words over and over again ..
I searched for clinks around me .. makan fe ..
So I went to the bathroom ..
Washed my face ..

And get back to the laptop ..


- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim!! says:
First of all .. I hate this question! .. " did I do anything wrong for you!" .. you should know it by ur own! .. You not a little kid kelma SAR shay bennyye engoolich that's wrong and that's right! and No shoug you DID NOT! If that what you wana hear ..


- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim!! says:
And about chocolate bar .. you were with your friends .. so I wouldn't come over and say hi ..! and Jassim were after me ..! ze3lay 3alaih uhwa ba3ad if that's ur new strategy!


- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim!! says:
And I'm NOT ignoring you! Bas I'm busy with other things .. and I thought enny bashofich eb bait mama 6aiba .. but I was wrong .. and I went yesterday to say goodbye gabil ilsafra because im going to chalet with friends .. anyway wasil salamich! : )

My eyes winded ..
And my heart start beating faster and faster ..
I couldn't believe what I'm seeing!
No! No!
I'm in bad dream or something..!

I wrote :

Shougan says :
You .. are you telling me that you'll travel without saying good bye to .. me?

- Faris .. afthait serrin khafi fe galbe menketim!! Appears to be offline. messages you will send will be delivered when they sign in. E-mail this contact instead

I couldn’t believe it!
I called nouf ..
She was closer to me than Fatima ..
I don't know why ..

Nouf : " halaaaaaaaaaaaa .. "

Shoug : " ……" crying !

Nouf voice changed : " shougooo!! What's wronnnng!! "

Shoug : " uuuuh .. fa .. "

Nouf : " ha? What? "

Shoug : " he hates me for no reason noufo! I can't believe it ! "

Nouf : " what? Menu uhwa? .. mafhamt! "

I told her what happened ..
Kilshay eb galbi gelta ..
I didn't told anyone enna he's ignoring me men 3 weeks..
So I told her every little detail ..

Nouf : " haw! What's wrong with him..! he's so normal with me and fatma! .. we saw him ams eb mama 6aiba ..! it's weird shogo! .. "

Shoug : " *sneef* .. I know! "

Nouf : " I'll ask him what's wrong okay? "

I nodded : " ok sure .. "

It killed me deep inside ..
Because me and faris were the close ones in the group!
Mu uhwa oo nouf!
Do you know eli dakheL il group there's 2 close persons ..
So I expect him to tell me what's wrong .. mu egool 7ag nouf!